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Why is it so hard emotionally to stop breastfeeding?

The Emotional Complexity of Weaning from Breastfeeding
For many mothers, the journey of breastfeeding is filled with profound emotional highs and lows. While the act of nursing can foster a deep bond between mother and child, the decision to stop breastfeeding often brings a wave of conflicting emotions that can make the process feel overwhelmingly difficult.
The Bonding Experience
Breastfeeding is not just a physical act; it is an intimate experience that strengthens the emotional connection between mother and child. The release of hormones such as oxytocin during nursing enhances feelings of love and attachment. As mothers contemplate weaning, they may grapple with the fear of losing this unique bond. The thought of no longer providing nourishment in such a personal way can evoke feelings of guilt and sadness, as many mothers internalize the belief that “breast is best” for their child.
Societal Pressures and Expectations
Compounding these feelings are societal pressures that often idealize breastfeeding. Many mothers feel a sense of shame or inadequacy if they struggle with breastfeeding or if they choose to stop. This pressure can lead to isolation, as mothers may feel they cannot share their struggles or feelings of ambivalence about weaning. The lack of resources and support for mothers looking to stop breastfeeding can further exacerbate these emotions, leaving them feeling alone in their decision.
Physical and Emotional Challenges
The physical aspects of weaning can also contribute to emotional turmoil. Some mothers experience discomfort or pain during the weaning process, which can lead to frustration and resentment. Additionally, the emotional toll of adjusting to a new routine—both for the mother and the child—can be significant. The transition may involve tears, tantrums, and a sense of loss for both parties, making the process feel like a grieving period rather than a simple change.
Breastfeeding Aversion
Interestingly, some mothers may experience a phenomenon known as breastfeeding aversion and agitation (BAA), where the act of nursing becomes emotionally taxing. This can occur particularly in cases of tandem feeding or during pregnancy. For these mothers, the decision to stop breastfeeding may be driven by a need to reclaim their emotional well-being, yet it can still be fraught with guilt and sadness.
Navigating the Transition
Ultimately, the journey of weaning is deeply personal and varies from one mother to another. While some may find relief in stopping, others may mourn the end of this chapter in their lives. The emotional complexity surrounding the decision to stop breastfeeding underscores the need for more open conversations and support systems for mothers navigating this challenging transition.
In conclusion, the emotional difficulty of stopping breastfeeding is a multifaceted issue, influenced by biological, psychological, and societal factors. Understanding these complexities can help mothers feel less alone in their experiences and encourage a more compassionate dialogue around the challenges of breastfeeding and weaning.

What is the best age to stop breastfeeding?

The World Health Organization recommends that all babies be exclusively breastfed for 6 months, then gradually introduced to appropriate foods after 6 months while continuing to breastfeed for 2 years or beyond. Stopping breastfeeding is called weaning. It is up to you and your baby to decide when the time is right.

How long does it take to lose 20 pounds while breastfeeding?

La Leche League International states that breastfeeding women lose an average of 1.3 to 1.6 pounds per week for the first 4 to 6 months of the baby’s life, without additional dieting. Adding a diet into the mixture can help you reach your goal of losing 20 pounds faster.

How to emotionally detach from breastfeeding?

7 Ways To Stay Emotionally Healthy While Weaning Your Breastfed Baby

  1. Wean slowly over time.
  2. Have social support ready.
  3. Write down your why.
  4. Create a weaning plan.
  5. Remember: You are a great mother no matter how you are feeding your child.
  6. Talk about how you are feeling.
  7. Cuddle your baby.

What are the negative effects of breastfeeding too long?

For example, duration of breastfeeding experience has been shown to correlate negatively with parent-reported antisocial and aggressive behavior in children from 4 to 11 years of age [43]. These effects on antisocial behavior appear to extend well beyond childhood into adulthood.

Do your hormones go crazy when you stop breastfeeding?

This adjustment can lead to a short time of feeling quite low, as your hormones settle down. It can be really common to feel down or weepy – or even depressed – after weaning. And for some, the feelings are strong and may mean there is a sense of anxiety, insomnia, anger, swings between high and low moods.

How long does it take for hormones to balance after stopping breastfeeding?

The return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels can vary greatly, but generally hormones will normalize within three to six months. If you are breastfeeding, as you wean from it, your prolactin and oxytocin levels will drop—potentially leaving you feeling sad, anxious or irritable.

Why am I so attached to breastfeeding?

When you breastfeed, your body makes the hormones prolactin and oxytocin. Oxytocin produces a peaceful, nurturing feeling that allows you to relax and focus on your child. It also promotes a strong sense of love and attachment between you and your baby.

Does your body change after you stop breastfeeding?

Your body will go through many changes when you stop breastfeeding. Expect differences in: Breast size and shape. Your breasts will probably get smaller again, although it may take several months.

How long did it take to lose weight after stopping breastfeeding?

Losing the baby weight can take upwards of a year. Ideally, you should take the weight off gradually, aiming for 1-2 pounds per week.

Why is it mentally hard to stop breastfeeding?

The emotional impact of weaning
It’s not just about the physical act of nursing; it’s about letting go of a unique form of closeness and dependency. The process of weaning can also trigger feelings of guilt or doubt. Questions like “Am I doing this too soon?” or “Am I being selfish?” are common.

Natasha Lunn

Tash is an IBCLC and Business Coach helping fellow IBCLCs create fun, profitable businesses that are more than just an expensive hobby. Before becoming an IBCLC and starting her private practice - The Boobala, Tash graduated as an Osteopath in 2008 and has been in Private Practice in South West Sydney. She was also a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor and Community Educator with the Australian Breastfeeding Association for 6 years. Through her business, Your Lactation Biz, Tash coaches and creates products to help new and seasoned IBCLCs build businesses that suit their personality and lifestyle.

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