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Why is breastfeeding so emotionally hard?

The Emotional Challenges of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding, often heralded as a natural and nurturing act, can paradoxically become a source of emotional turmoil for many mothers. While it is celebrated for its numerous health benefits for both mother and child, the emotional landscape surrounding breastfeeding is complex and fraught with challenges.
Physical Discomfort and Emotional Strain
For many mothers, the physical aspects of breastfeeding can be daunting. Pain during breastfeeding, whether from improper latch or other issues, can lead to feelings of frustration and inadequacy. This discomfort can overshadow the bonding experience that breastfeeding is supposed to foster. Additionally, concerns about milk supply can exacerbate these feelings. Mothers may grapple with shame or guilt if they perceive themselves as unable to provide sufficient nourishment for their child, leading to a cycle of negative emotions that can be hard to break.
Isolation and Lack of Support
The emotional burden of breastfeeding is often compounded by feelings of isolation. Many mothers report feeling alone in their struggles, particularly if they lack a supportive network. The societal pressures to breastfeed can create an environment where mothers feel judged or unsupported, intensifying feelings of resentment or agitation. This is particularly true for those who experience breastfeeding aversion, a phenomenon where mothers feel a strong emotional response against breastfeeding, which can occur during tandem feeding or pregnancy.
Loss of Independence
Breastfeeding can also signify a significant shift in a mother’s life, often leading to a sense of lost independence. The demands of breastfeeding can feel overwhelming, especially for new mothers adjusting to the responsibilities of parenthood. Many women express a longing to reclaim their bodies and autonomy, which can lead to emotional conflict as they navigate the dual roles of caregiver and individual.
The Psychological Impact of Bonding
Despite these challenges, breastfeeding is also associated with profound emotional benefits. The release of hormones like oxytocin during breastfeeding fosters a deep emotional bond between mother and child. However, the pressure to maintain this bond can create anxiety, particularly if the breastfeeding experience is fraught with difficulties. Mothers may feel torn between the desire to nurture their child and the emotional toll that breastfeeding takes on them.
The Need for Emotional Support
The emotional journey of breastfeeding underscores the importance of support systems. Many mothers express a need for emotional support from partners, family, and healthcare providers to navigate the complexities of their breastfeeding experiences. This support can be crucial in helping mothers feel validated and understood, ultimately aiding in their breastfeeding journey.
In conclusion, while breastfeeding is often viewed through a lens of health benefits and nurturing, the emotional challenges it presents are significant and multifaceted. Understanding these challenges is essential for providing the necessary support to mothers, helping them navigate the emotional landscape of breastfeeding with greater ease and confidence.

How to mentally cope with breastfeeding?

Turning to those who care about you such as your partner, family or friends can help. Speaking with an ABA counsellor can help. In addition, speaking with a counsellor from Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Association (PANDA) can provide emotional and mental health support.

Why does breastfeeding make you so emotional?

It’s a physiological (read: not mental) response to your body releasing milk, and can bring on feelings of intense sadness, despair, anxiety and more as you’re starting to nurse your baby.

Why do I dread breastfeeding?

Not everyone has a positive experience with breastfeeding. If you feel negative emotions like anger or sadness when your milk lets down, you may have D-MER, or dysphoric milk ejection reflex. You’re not alone, you did nothing to cause it and there’s nothing “wrong” with you.

Are breastfed babies more attached to their mothers?

Breastfeeding and mother–infant attachment
Moreover, in a prospective longitudinal study of 675 mother–infant dyads, increased duration of breastfeeding was associated with maternal sensitive responsiveness, increased attachment security, and decreased attachment disorganization when infants were 14 months of age [71].

Why do men love breastfeeding?

For other men, seeing the mother-child dyad enjoying each other may be sexually exciting. Leaking breasts may be a sexual “turn-on” just as they may be a sexual “turn-off” (Wilkerson & Bing, 1988). Other men may feel that lactating breasts are not an erogenous zone and are to be avoided at all costs.

Why is breastfeeding so hard on mental health?

Common breastfeeding problems
Women often struggle with the pressure to feed very regularly, as well as the lack of sleep due to nighttime feeding. As a result, lots of new mothers find themselves feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and struggling with their mental health.

How to emotionally let go of breastfeeding?

However you do it, try to honor your last breastfeeding session in some way. When we experience a transition such as weaning, it’s natural to feel deeply emotional. Commemorating the transition in some way helps us process it, make peace with how it ended, and honor our time as a breastfeeding parent.

How do I emotionally detach from breastfeeding?

7 Ways To Stay Emotionally Healthy While Weaning Your Breastfed Baby

  1. Wean slowly over time.
  2. Have social support ready.
  3. Write down your why.
  4. Create a weaning plan.
  5. Remember: You are a great mother no matter how you are feeding your child.
  6. Talk about how you are feeling.
  7. Cuddle your baby.

Why do I feel violated when breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding and reproductive hormones
Hormonal shifts are one of the most common causes of breastfeeding aversion. These shifts are usually due to either menstruation, ovulation, or pregnancy. For some breastfeeding parents, breastfeeding aversion peaks during their menstrual cycle.

Why is it so hard emotionally to stop breastfeeding?

Hormones also contribute to feelings of sadness and depression during weaning. Prolactin, the hormone that is required for milk production, and oxytocin, which is responsible for the release of milk through let downs, both help calm and relax mothers and contribute to feelings of love.

Natasha Lunn

Tash is an IBCLC and Business Coach helping fellow IBCLCs create fun, profitable businesses that are more than just an expensive hobby. Before becoming an IBCLC and starting her private practice - The Boobala, Tash graduated as an Osteopath in 2008 and has been in Private Practice in South West Sydney. She was also a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor and Community Educator with the Australian Breastfeeding Association for 6 years. Through her business, Your Lactation Biz, Tash coaches and creates products to help new and seasoned IBCLCs build businesses that suit their personality and lifestyle.

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