Why is breastfeeding making me angry?

Understanding Anger During Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is often portrayed as a serene bonding experience between mother and child, but for some women, it can evoke unexpected and intense emotions, including anger. This phenomenon, known as breastfeeding aversion and agitation (BAA), is increasingly recognized but remains under-researched. It can manifest in various ways, leading mothers to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even trapped during nursing sessions.
The Emotional Landscape of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding aversion is characterized by feelings of irritation or anger that arise during or after breastfeeding. This emotional response can be particularly pronounced in mothers who are tandem feeding—nursing both a newborn and an older child—or those who are breastfeeding while pregnant. The physical and emotional demands of these situations can exacerbate feelings of frustration and resentment, making the experience less enjoyable and more burdensome.
One of the key factors contributing to these negative emotions is the hormonal changes that occur during breastfeeding. The release of hormones such as oxytocin, which is typically associated with bonding and relaxation, can sometimes trigger contrasting feelings in certain women. This reaction can lead to a sense of agitation, particularly if the breastfeeding experience is not going smoothly, such as difficulties with latching or prolonged feeding sessions.
The Role of D-MER
Another related condition is Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER), which involves feelings of sadness or anger that occur just before milk ejection. This can create a dissonance between the expected joy of breastfeeding and the actual emotional experience, leading to confusion and distress for the mother. Women experiencing D-MER may feel a wave of negative emotions that can be difficult to reconcile with the nurturing act of breastfeeding.
Societal Pressures and Personal Expectations
The societal expectation that breastfeeding should be a blissful experience can add to the pressure mothers feel. When their reality does not match this ideal, feelings of guilt and inadequacy can surface, further fueling anger and frustration. Many mothers report feeling unsupported or misunderstood, which can exacerbate their emotional turmoil.
Moreover, the physical discomfort associated with breastfeeding—such as pain from latching issues or engorgement—can also contribute to negative feelings. The combination of physical pain and emotional stress can create a perfect storm for anger to arise during what is supposed to be a nurturing activity.
Seeking Support and Understanding
For mothers experiencing anger during breastfeeding, it is crucial to seek support and understanding. Open conversations with healthcare providers, lactation consultants, or support groups can help normalize these feelings and provide coping strategies. Recognizing that these emotions are valid and not uncommon can be a significant step toward alleviating the distress associated with breastfeeding.
In conclusion, while breastfeeding is often celebrated for its benefits, it is essential to acknowledge the complex emotional landscape that can accompany it. Understanding the factors that contribute to feelings of anger can empower mothers to navigate their breastfeeding journeys with greater awareness and support.

How long does it take for hormones to balance after stopping breastfeeding?

The return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels can vary greatly, but generally hormones will normalize within three to six months. If you are breastfeeding, as you wean from it, your prolactin and oxytocin levels will drop—potentially leaving you feeling sad, anxious or irritable.

Why is breastfeeding hard mentally?

Common breastfeeding problems
Women often struggle with the pressure to feed very regularly, as well as the lack of sleep due to nighttime feeding. As a result, lots of new mothers find themselves feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and struggling with their mental health.

How to emotionally let go of breastfeeding?

However you do it, try to honor your last breastfeeding session in some way. When we experience a transition such as weaning, it’s natural to feel deeply emotional. Commemorating the transition in some way helps us process it, make peace with how it ended, and honor our time as a breastfeeding parent.

Why is it so hard emotionally to stop breastfeeding?

Hormones also contribute to feelings of sadness and depression during weaning. Prolactin, the hormone that is required for milk production, and oxytocin, which is responsible for the release of milk through let downs, both help calm and relax mothers and contribute to feelings of love.

How do I stop being aggressive while breastfeeding?

How to get relief

1. Hand express or pump a little bit of milk before getting your baby, and then help him latch on.
2. Release or detach your baby when you start to feel the overactive letdown.
3. Try laid-back nursing.
4. Manually slow the flow of milk at the areola with your fingers.
5. Limit bottles.

Why does breastfeeding put me in a bad mood?

“A woman can have a dip in mood from changes in the hormones responsible for lactation, called oxytocin and prolactin,” says Mary Hoffman, an advanced clinician lactation consultant at Sharp Mary Birch. “Oxytocin triggers the letdown reflex that moves the milk, and prolactin promotes milk production.”

Why do I get so angry when breastfeeding?

In my book, When Breastfeeding Sucks, I present my biopsychosocial theory of aversion. Aversion is a rather heart-breaking phenomenon, where breastfeeding triggers particular negative emotions and intrusive thoughts including anger, irritation, agitation and even rage.

Can breastfeeding cause mood swings?

Oxytocin and prolactin
While breastfeeding, these hormones promoted feelings of contentment, peace, and intimacy. As these hormone levels drop, some individuals experience complex physical and emotional symptoms including moodiness, sadness, or insomnia.

How long does it take for hormones to balance after breastfeeding?

The return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels can vary greatly, but generally hormones will normalize within three to six months. If you are breastfeeding, as you wean from it, your prolactin and oxytocin levels will drop—potentially leaving you feeling sad, anxious or irritable.

Can breastfeeding hormones make you angry?

Women are often told to expect that breast-feeding will bring about warm and fuzzy feelings, thanks to the bonding hormone oxytocin — and most of the time, that’s true. But it’s in stark contrast to what women with D-MER might feel, which can range from sadness to anger to hopelessness.