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Why do I feel so guilty about stopping breastfeeding?

Understanding the Guilt of Stopping Breastfeeding
Feeling guilty about stopping breastfeeding is a common emotional struggle for many mothers. This guilt often stems from societal expectations, personal beliefs, and the intense emotional connection that breastfeeding can foster between a mother and her child.
Societal Pressures and Expectations
In today’s society, breastfeeding is often portrayed as the gold standard for infant nutrition. Mothers are frequently bombarded with messages about the benefits of breastfeeding, which can create a sense of obligation to continue, even when circumstances change. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure if a mother decides to stop breastfeeding, whether due to personal choice, health issues, or lifestyle changes. As one source notes, there exists a significant gap between the high standards set for breastfeeding and the reality many women face, leaving ample room for guilt and shame to creep in during a vulnerable time in their lives.
The Emotional Connection
Breastfeeding is not just about nutrition; it often symbolizes a deep emotional bond between mother and child. The act of breastfeeding can evoke feelings of closeness and nurturing, making the decision to stop feel like a loss of that connection. Many mothers report that the physical act of breastfeeding is intertwined with their identity as a caregiver, leading to a profound sense of guilt when they consider stopping.
The Reality of Motherhood
Motherhood is filled with challenges, and breastfeeding can be one of the most demanding aspects. Many mothers experience difficulties such as sore nipples, low milk supply, or the need to return to work, which can complicate the breastfeeding journey. These challenges can lead to frustration and exhaustion, prompting some mothers to consider stopping. However, the guilt associated with this decision can be overwhelming, as they may feel they are not meeting societal expectations or their own ideals of motherhood.
The Importance of Self-Compassion
It’s crucial for mothers to recognize that feeling guilty is a normal response to the decision to stop breastfeeding. Experts emphasize the importance of self-compassion and understanding that every mother’s situation is unique. The decision to stop breastfeeding should be based on what is best for both the mother and the child, rather than external pressures.
Ultimately, mothers should remember that whether they choose to breastfeed or not, their love and care for their child are what truly matter. Embracing this perspective can help alleviate feelings of guilt and foster a healthier mindset about motherhood and parenting choices.

How long does it take for hormones to settle after stopping breastfeeding?

Often your hormones settle within a few weeks and you and your child adjust to a new rhythm where breastfeeding is no longer part of your current story. These feelings of sadness and general lowness that can happen after weaning are normally temporary. Being gentle and patient with yourself is important.

How your body changes when you stop breastfeeding?

Some might experience headaches or migraines, while others feel exhausted or even dizzy immediately after weaning. Another common post-weaning issue? Acne. Big hormone changes can really throw your body for a loop.

Should I feel guilty if I don’t breastfeed?

You have absolutely no need to feel guilty if you want your body back whatsoever. In fact, entirely the opposite. Breastfeeding your baby for so long is one of the most selfless acts a woman can undertake. The bond will still be there. In fact, if you’re not being bitten and hurt it may be improved!

What are the negative effects of breastfeeding too long?

For example, duration of breastfeeding experience has been shown to correlate negatively with parent-reported antisocial and aggressive behavior in children from 4 to 11 years of age [43]. These effects on antisocial behavior appear to extend well beyond childhood into adulthood.

What is the average age to stop breastfeeding?

As the AAFP notes, according to anthropological data, the natural age of self-weaning (meaning weaning determined strictly by the child) is about 2.5–7 years old. Obviously, not everyone wants to nurse that long, but it’s nice to know it’s an option that’s normal and actually pretty common all over the world.

How to get over the guilt of stopping breastfeeding?

How can I stop feeling guilty for not breastfeeding?

  1. Instead of thinking ‘breast is best’ think of it as ‘every feed counts’ or ‘fed is best’
  2. Take time to connect to your baby as they drink their formula — make it a special bonding moment.
  3. Reach out for support — you’re not alone, ever!

Will I regret stopping breastfeeding?

Your feelings of regret about stopping breastfeeding early are normal and understandable, especially considering the challenges and emotions you’ve faced, including your baby’s health issues. Remember, many mothers go through similar situations and tough decisions.

Why is it mentally hard to stop breastfeeding?

The emotional impact of weaning
It’s not just about the physical act of nursing; it’s about letting go of a unique form of closeness and dependency. The process of weaning can also trigger feelings of guilt or doubt. Questions like “Am I doing this too soon?” or “Am I being selfish?” are common.

Does your body change after you stop breastfeeding?

Your body will go through many changes when you stop breastfeeding. Expect differences in: Breast size and shape. Your breasts will probably get smaller again, although it may take several months.

Why do I feel so sad about stopping breastfeeding?

As women wean, the oxytocin stores start to go back to non-pregnant levels,” O’Neill says. “Oxytocin is known as the love hormone, so as it decreases you may feel sad, irritable or grumpy. Many women attribute this to fatigue, but the feeling is real and regulated by our hormones.”

Natasha Lunn

Tash is an IBCLC and Business Coach helping fellow IBCLCs create fun, profitable businesses that are more than just an expensive hobby. Before becoming an IBCLC and starting her private practice - The Boobala, Tash graduated as an Osteopath in 2008 and has been in Private Practice in South West Sydney. She was also a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor and Community Educator with the Australian Breastfeeding Association for 6 years. Through her business, Your Lactation Biz, Tash coaches and creates products to help new and seasoned IBCLCs build businesses that suit their personality and lifestyle.

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