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How to get over the guilt of stopping breastfeeding?

Understanding Breastfeeding Guilt
For many mothers, the decision to stop breastfeeding can be fraught with emotional turmoil. The societal pressures and personal expectations surrounding breastfeeding often lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy. However, it’s essential to recognize that these feelings are common and can be addressed through understanding and support.
The Roots of Guilt
Breastfeeding is often idealized in our culture, with messages emphasizing its benefits for both mother and child. This can create a narrative that equates breastfeeding with being a “good mother.” When a mother decides to stop breastfeeding, whether due to personal choice, health issues, or lifestyle changes, she may feel as though she is failing to meet these societal standards. Experts note that this guilt can be intense, but it is crucial to understand that choosing to stop breastfeeding does not diminish a mother’s love or commitment to her child.
Embracing the Decision
One of the first steps in overcoming breastfeeding guilt is to acknowledge that it is okay to stop. Many mothers find relief in recognizing that formula feeding or mixed feeding is a valid choice. In fact, experts emphasize that there is nothing wrong with using formula, and it can provide a practical solution for mothers who need to return to work or simply want to reclaim some personal time.
Moreover, it’s important to remember that the decision to stop breastfeeding should be based on what feels right for both the mother and the baby. Consulting with pediatricians or lactation consultants can provide reassurance and help validate the emotions surrounding this transition.
Shifting the Narrative
To combat feelings of guilt, it’s beneficial to shift the conversation around breastfeeding. Many health professionals advocate for a more supportive dialogue that does not place undue pressure on mothers. This includes recognizing that every mother’s journey is unique and that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to feeding a baby.
Mothers can also benefit from connecting with others who have faced similar challenges. Sharing experiences and hearing stories from other mothers can help normalize the feelings of guilt and provide a sense of community and support.
Practical Steps to Move Forward
As mothers navigate the emotional landscape of stopping breastfeeding, there are practical steps they can take to ease the transition:
1. Educate Yourself: Understanding the benefits of both breastfeeding and formula feeding can help alleviate guilt. Knowledge empowers mothers to make informed decisions that are best for their families.
2. Seek Support: Engaging with support groups, whether in-person or online, can provide a safe space to express feelings and receive encouragement from others who understand.
3. Focus on Bonding: Remember that bonding with your baby can occur through various means, not just breastfeeding. Skin-to-skin contact, cuddling, and spending quality time together are all ways to nurture that connection.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: It’s vital for mothers to be kind to themselves. Recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize their own well-being is essential for both their health and their baby’s.
Conclusion
Ultimately, the journey of motherhood is filled with choices, and stopping breastfeeding is just one of many decisions mothers will face. By reframing the narrative around breastfeeding, seeking support, and practicing self-compassion, mothers can move past guilt and embrace their choices with confidence. Remember, the most important thing is the health and happiness of both mother and child, regardless of how they choose to feed.

Why do I feel so guilty about stopping breastfeeding?

Guilt and Anxiety
Some mothers feel guilt or anxiety about weaning, wondering if they are being selfish or if they are harming their child by stopping breastfeeding. It’s important to remember that weaning is a natural and healthy step in your child’s development.

Will I lose weight after I stop breastfeeding?

It’s normal to store extra fat during pregnancy to be used up while breastfeeding. Mothers vary in when they lose this extra weight. For some it is in the early weeks, some later and for others it’s not until after they have stopped breastfeeding.

Will I regret stopping breastfeeding?

Your feelings of regret about stopping breastfeeding early are normal and understandable, especially considering the challenges and emotions you’ve faced, including your baby’s health issues. Remember, many mothers go through similar situations and tough decisions.

Will my baby love me less if I don’t breastfeed?

Bottle-feeding doesn’t affect your closeness
Yes, my son just wasn’t into breastfeeding. But, let me tell you, he’s so into me. Even at a year old, he wants me to hold him all the time.

At what age is breastfeeding no longer beneficial?

But Dr Max Davie, from the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, says there is limited evidence of additional nutritional benefit beyond the age of two. “By the age of two, a child should get all the nutrients required through their diet so there is no additional benefit to breastfeeding over this age.”

What happens to my body when I stop breastfeeding?

Some might experience headaches or migraines, while others feel exhausted or even dizzy immediately after weaning. Another common post-weaning issue? Acne. Big hormone changes can really throw your body for a loop.

At what age is it unhealthy to breastfeed?

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the World Health Organization recommend continued breastfeeding along with introducing appropriate complementary foods for up to 2 years or longer.

What is the best age to stop breastfeeding?

The World Health Organization recommends that all babies be exclusively breastfed for 6 months, then gradually introduced to appropriate foods after 6 months while continuing to breastfeed for 2 years or beyond. Stopping breastfeeding is called weaning. It is up to you and your baby to decide when the time is right.

What hormones shift when you stop breastfeeding?

“As women wean, the oxytocin stores start to go back to non-pregnant levels,” O’Neill says. “Oxytocin is known as the love hormone, so as it decreases you may feel sad, irritable or grumpy. Many women attribute this to fatigue, but the feeling is real and regulated by our hormones.”

Why do I feel sad about stopping breastfeeding?

For many, weaning is an emotional adjustment
As breastfeeding comes to end it can be an emotional time and mothers can experience a wide range of feelings. For some it might be a time of sadness – a sense of loss for the time that’s gone before and a sorrow that your special ‘baby days’ are passing and behind you.

Natasha Lunn

Tash is an IBCLC and Business Coach helping fellow IBCLCs create fun, profitable businesses that are more than just an expensive hobby. Before becoming an IBCLC and starting her private practice - The Boobala, Tash graduated as an Osteopath in 2008 and has been in Private Practice in South West Sydney. She was also a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor and Community Educator with the Australian Breastfeeding Association for 6 years. Through her business, Your Lactation Biz, Tash coaches and creates products to help new and seasoned IBCLCs build businesses that suit their personality and lifestyle.

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