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How do you fix low sex drive after having a baby?

Understanding Low Sex Drive Post-Baby
After the arrival of a new baby, many parents, particularly mothers, experience a significant drop in their sex drive. This phenomenon is not uncommon and can be attributed to a variety of factors, including hormonal changes, physical recovery, exhaustion, and the demands of caring for a newborn. According to experts, these elements can create a perfect storm that diminishes libido during the postpartum period.
The Culprits Behind Low Libido
Hormonal fluctuations are one of the primary reasons for decreased sexual desire after childbirth. During pregnancy, levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone rise significantly, and after delivery, these levels drop sharply. This hormonal shift can lead to physical changes, including vaginal dryness and discomfort during intercourse, which can further discourage sexual activity.
Additionally, the physical toll of childbirth cannot be overlooked. Recovery from labor, whether vaginal or via C-section, requires time, and many new parents find themselves physically exhausted. The demands of a newborn—feeding, diaper changes, and sleepless nights—can leave little room for intimacy. Emotional factors also play a role; feelings of anxiety, depression, or the so-called “baby blues” can further dampen sexual desire.
Steps to Reignite Your Sex Drive
1. Communicate Openly with Your Partner: One of the most effective ways to address low libido is through open communication. Discussing feelings, fears, and desires with your partner can help both of you understand each other’s needs and create a supportive environment for intimacy.
2. Prioritize Self-Care: Taking care of your own physical and emotional health is crucial. This includes getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet rich in nutrients, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation and well-being. Nutrition plays a vital role in hormonal balance, so incorporating lean proteins, healthy fats, and plenty of fruits and vegetables can be beneficial.
3. Explore Individual Pleasure: Engaging in self-exploration through masturbation can help reconnect you with your body and its sensations. This practice can also alleviate stress and help you understand what feels good, which can be communicated to your partner later.
4. Create a Romantic Atmosphere: Once you feel ready to resume sexual activity, consider setting the stage for intimacy. This might involve scheduling time for romance when you can have uninterrupted moments together, perhaps with the help of a babysitter or family member.
5. Take It Slow: It’s important to approach intimacy gradually. Start with non-sexual affection, such as cuddling or kissing, to rebuild intimacy without the pressure of intercourse. This can help ease any anxiety and foster a sense of closeness.
6. Consult a Professional: If low libido persists and significantly impacts your relationship or mental health, it may be beneficial to seek advice from a healthcare provider or a sex therapist. They can offer tailored strategies and support, including addressing any underlying conditions like hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD).
Conclusion
Low sex drive after having a baby is a common experience influenced by a myriad of factors. Understanding these influences and taking proactive steps can help couples navigate this challenging phase. With patience, communication, and self-care, many parents find that their sexual desire gradually returns, allowing them to reconnect intimately as they adjust to their new roles.

How do I love myself again after having a baby?

There are many positive things you can do to help you remember who you are and embrace the changes in your life.

  1. Think about all the positive ways your baby has changed you.
  2. Remember that identity is never fixed.
  3. Make sure to have a break every now and then.
  4. Make time for self-care.
  5. Don’t compare yourself to other parents.

Is it normal to not want intimacy after having a baby?

Changes in your body and lifestyle after childbirth might make the thought of sex less than exciting. Soreness, lack of sleep and caring for an infant can all take a toll. But with time, most people do decide that they want to have sex again.

How to rekindle sex after a baby?

Plan date nights ahead of time, have a regular babysitting schedule, and make time for sex before you’re dead tired and dropping into bed at the end of the day. This might feel awkward at first, but scheduling regular time for each other is important when there are so many other demands on your time and attention.

Why do I feel so distant from my partner after having a baby?

Becoming a parent often puts a strain on relationships, regardless of what they were like before. Part of the problem is that you’re tired and have so much less time to spend with friends, family or your partner than you did before the baby arrived.

Why do I have no sex drive since having a baby?

It’s normal for women to have a lower sex drive than they did prior to their pregnancy. Hormonal changes, lack of sleep, physical changes to their body and adjusting to the needs of a new baby all contribute to a reduction in libido. These issues may lead to postpartum depression as well.

Can sex drive be regained?

Healthy lifestyle changes can make a big difference in your desire for sex: Exercise. Regular aerobic exercise and strength training are great for you in general. But they also can increase your stamina, improve your body image, lift your mood and boost your libido.

How long can a woman go without sex?

The Takeaway. There is no universal standard for how long women can or should go without sex. Some may thrive with no sex for months on end, while others crave intimacy more frequently.

How long does postpartum lack of sex last?

How long does a low postpartum libido last? Loss of libido during the first six weeks or so after the baby is born is completely normal.

How can I get my sex drive back after having a baby?

Tips for getting your sex drive back after baby
Start slowly by touching, kissing, and connecting throughout the day. When you’re able to have sex, use plenty of foreplay (and lube!) to increase desire and readiness. Pleasure yourself. During the postpartum period it’s normal to feel out of touch with your body.

How do I get my labido back?

Healthy lifestyle changes can make a big difference in your desire for sex:

  1. Exercise.
  2. Stress less.
  3. Talk with your partner.
  4. Set aside time for intimacy.
  5. Add a little spice to your sex life.
  6. Try vaginal lubricants and moisturizers.
  7. Be aware of your habits.
Natasha Lunn

Tash is an IBCLC and Business Coach helping fellow IBCLCs create fun, profitable businesses that are more than just an expensive hobby. Before becoming an IBCLC and starting her private practice - The Boobala, Tash graduated as an Osteopath in 2008 and has been in Private Practice in South West Sydney. She was also a volunteer Breastfeeding Counsellor and Community Educator with the Australian Breastfeeding Association for 6 years. Through her business, Your Lactation Biz, Tash coaches and creates products to help new and seasoned IBCLCs build businesses that suit their personality and lifestyle.

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